christmas blissmus
It’s my favorite week of the year: no more faking holiday cheer, just plain old sitting around entertaining false hopes of becoming a better person next year. Me, I’m going to eat healthier, write more, bathe regularly. Self-discipline like a ninja. But not for two more days.
Here’s what I think: people don’t know each other at all. The proof? Your Christmas gifts. Me, I got a battery-operated radio-lantern. It’s like a hanging flashlight that gets fm. I don’t know if that’s the best or worst gift I’ve gotten this year. It’s like this tee-shirt I got in high school, a bright red one that said "Gone Fishin’" and had a big green fish puffing out of the fabric. Looking back, I should have worn it at least once.
On the other hand, I got a razor blade made specifically for shaving a head. It’s called a head blade. Even if it doesn’t work, that’s pretty awesome. Actually, I got lots of great stuff this year, which was nearly enough to make this Christmas charade worthwhile. To be fair, even the lantern/radio came with a gift card.
But I still want to know what the lamest/weirdest gift you got was, which was kind of the point of all this.
What I’ve been up to: sitting in the waffle house with my family, drinking coffee and working puzzles. (Are people doing these sudoku things?) For those of you who don’t get south of the mason-dixon line too often, the waffle house is a 24 hour greasy grill where old men, stoned teenagers, bored millionaires, crackheads, and drunk pregnant girls hang out. It’s a good place to sit. A couple of nights before Christmas, I was in there with Mom and Dad when a group of 10 or so high school kids came in and sang carols, accompanied by a trombone and a violin. Even the waitresses were singing along.
A good movie I’ve seen in the last month: You and Me and Everyone We Know (or something like that)
Current Music: Recommend me something
Currently reading: The Secret Goldfish, David Means.
Place I’d like to be: Skellar, w/Guinness
In fact, I’ll be going there Monday Night, when I get back in town, assuming I can scrounge up some company…
December 30th, 2005 at 8:09 pm
i haven’t gotten my mom’s christmas present yet… so this may be #2, but i think the worst one was a bunch of knives from some prick. oh wait, that wasn’t a christmas present. thanks, zack. we used one to cut the “raw” pumpkin pie, which was a little inappropriate since it is basically the consistency of baby food. most lame, avon’s concept of what a hippie goddess smells like, in perfume, powder, bath gel, and some other thing i’m not sure what it’s for.
December 30th, 2005 at 9:02 pm
I’ve grown a reputation for lame-o gifts from my mother, with tops being Domino Rally for my 18th b-day. This year’s lame-o x-mas gift is a toss-up between a Lego pen and a minature Scrabble tin lunch-box. You would think the lunch-box would’ve come with extra scrabble tiles to replace lost ones or something. Instead, it only came with a bag of cookies shaped as tiles. Maybe it’s supposed to appeal to those hardcore players who forget to eat sometimes.
December 31st, 2005 at 4:41 am
Best X-mas gift this year: first batch of comments on my thesis back (waited six months for this baby!)
2nd best: three days of not seeing a single other person in my town of 1 million +
And coming in 3rd: two hours in a German hospital with my Vicadined-up husband, awaiting x-rays on his not-broken wrist.
This not celebrating thing sure beats the porcelain figures of cats and shot glasses that say Courtney’s bar on them.
December 31st, 2005 at 4:43 am
PS D really liked Me and You and Everyone we Know. Especially the blow job. But can you explain it to me? I still don’t get it.
January 1st, 2006 at 9:40 am
Hey, I got that Scrabble tin, too! It wasn’t my worst gift, though I was bummed because I thought it would be a travel Scrabble kit and instead it was those damn cookies.
Best gift: custom-made oak coffee table by Micah’s dad (he makes awesome stuff, so here’s a plug– http://www.finewoodcrafts.com )
Worst gift: a poker chip keychain. I have no need for more keychains and why would anyone think I wanted a poker chip?
Movie recommendation: “Goodnight and Goodluck.” My sis doesn’t recommend it, though; she left the theatre after 20 minutes to hit the bar around the corner, but I thought it was excellent. I also saw “Scarface” (o.k., though the accents are bad), “Brokeback Mountain” (o.k., but not the tear-jerker I expected), and “Dark Water” (terrible, terrible, terrible).
Currently reading: Passage to India, E.M. Forster. Also read Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas (Thompson is my new hero) and The Liar’s Club (o.k.).